Imagine if I stayed.

Imagine all the memories we could have made together. imagine the trust we could have built and the secrets that we could have spilt.

Imagine the cookies we could’ve split and the coffees we could have bought,

but all I can do is imagine.

because it’s a thought. not a dream, but a thought.

Because it was my destiny to move. but it aches. and kills me inside.

I’m slowly decaying away.

Moments, where you’re hurt, is when I want to be by your side. moments, when you feel weak, is when I want to be next to you. comforting you. aiding you,

but I can’t. but please always always remember this…I may not be there for you, but I will always be there for you.


I went to a land of beauty. I went to a land of strength. I went to a land of history and I found myself.

I was buried within the souls of the people and the sounds of overcrowded buses and the patters of the non-existent rain.

And now still, I hear the buzz of flies and the never-ending laughter of the boys I left there.

I miss them. I crave their company.

But life keeps us apart as I left the land of beauty and returned back to the land of opportunity.

The land of misunderstanding and the land of second chances.

I came back only to be greeted with the things that were oh so familiar.

The big red buses and the unfamiliar stares.

I miss the land of history. I miss the land of strength.

Although, I miss the land of beauty, it’s always engraved in my heart.

I will never forget what I learned and how blessed I am.

I won’t take my life for granted.

And when I feel weak and to give up, I’ll remember the land where I found myself and garner the ability to carry on.

That’s a promise x

Sometimes I’m upset. It’s funny how the past has a way of creeping back into your mind.

Sometimes I’m happy. surrounded by blessings how could I feel misery.

Sometimes I’m lonely. from time to time, I’m surrounded by a sea of people, yet I feel all alone.

Sometimes I’m excited. I dream of life in all its spectacular glory and pause.

I failed.

I really thought I could do it, but I failed. I tried my hardest and did all I could, but I failed. it broke me. I cried eternal tears and felt a never-ending heartbreak. my heart bled with misery.

I lost my faith. I lost my trust.

That’s all a piece of paper did to me, so what would life do? my conscience whispered to me “baby girl, don’t give up. you have only just started. you have only just begun to walk on the plank of life. keep balanced. stay motivated.

Dream of the land of beauty and wake up to a life filled with opportunity and blessing. never forget. you’re stronger than this. and remember one thing: you’re a soldier. you’re fighting a war with life and disappointment and. you. will. succeed. make no mistake, the war will never stop, but advance further and further. you may face setbacks, but push forwards and never ever look back.”

– kisses x

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